Relax…

We see a lot of reports in the newspapers about the mental health of government employees such as doctors and teachers and we see suicide cases on the rise each passing day. The authorities may express some concern but it sure does not look like they are doing very much about it.

My girl does seem to have a lot of work to do each waking minute when she is at home. I also had a lot to do too when I was a teacher, perhaps even more but I took it all in strides. Yes, there were times when I was stressed too but most of the time, I was all right. Well, as they say, no two persons are the same so different people will address their problems differently.

One thing that I always tell my girl is to reward herself…and not to wait for other people to do it. She may have to wait forever! Many a time, we see others getting those awards when they hardly do anything, other than apple polishing perhaps, while the rest of us who worked our fingers to the bone were left “putih mata“/empty-handed.

She can go out to do a bit of shopping, buy things that she likes to reward herself, go some place nice for a meal and be pampered by the excellent service while enjoying her comfort food, things that she enjoys eating or if she can find some time, go off somewhere on a holiday.

Last weekend, for instance, she had to go back to school the whole morning on Saturday and only got home way past noon. After a nap to rest a bit, we went to our usual sunset service in church. The next morning, she was up and about very very early to do her school work for the week ahead and that kept her busy till around 5.00 p.m. in the evening before she managed to finish everything that she had to do.

I did not want to suggest going out for lunch when she was still in the thick of things but now that she had finished, I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner and relax a bit. Of course, she jumped at the idea immediately and said without any hesitation whatsoever that she would like to go for her comfort food – biryani rice…

That was how we ended up at our favourite Indian/Indonesian restaurant in town and this time around, she chose the mutton masala

biryani (RM25.00)…

…and she also asked for their aloo gobi masala (RM13.00)…

…with potatoes and cauliflower, one of the vegetable dishes available here, suitable for vegetarians.

That sure was quite a lot for her to handle but she managed to finish most of it. I’ve always told her to take control of her life and never let anyone dictate how much she should eat so if she cannot finish something, she should just leave what is left behind and not force herself to finish everything, something that many Asian parents, those old-fashioned traditional ones, would find most distressing!

I had the tandoori chicken (RM16.00)…

…and as always, it was moist, juicy, tender and succulent…

…having been cooked on the spot and served straight out of the traditional tandoori unlike some elsewhere that may turn out hard and dry, having been left to stand by the side of the oven for too long before somebody orders it and it is served.

My missus had their mee nyemek goreng (RM16.00)…

…from their Indonesian menu which was pretty good and they were very generous with the seafood ingredients, all the prawns, sotong, fish cake and so on…but personally, my favourite fried noodles in town would be this old lady’s mee goreng here.

Having had our fill, we left for home happily. I could tell from the tone of her voice that my girl was a lot more relaxed by then and a whole lot happier than earlier on when we were leaving the house. I told her we can do this anytime she feels like it – just say the word and we wil be on our way.

THE CAFE IND (2.290813, 111.829294)…

…is located along Laichee Lane, right behind one block of shops facing the main road (Jalan Kampung Nyabor) where the Bank Simpanan Nasional, Sibu branch (2.290561, 111.829071), is located

Author: suituapui

Ancient relic but very young at heart. Enjoys food and cooking...and travelling and being with friends.

7 thoughts on “Relax…”

  1. You are a great loving and compassionate father, and I can see that your daughter takes after you. It is sad that so many people still find it taboo to talk about mental health, and suicides. I feel like by us not talking about it, we will never get to a point where it will ever be easy for anyone struggling to ask for help.

    Thank you for people like you and imparting your kindness and love to your daughter, so that she may pay it forward with others. Kudos Uncle Art!

    Gee! Now that’s fast! I just published this and I saw your comment already.
    Well, I try to be…but it is not easy. This is a very complex matter – no two individuals are the same and there is no medication that goes across the board, good for one and all. We just have to be on the alert to these things and reach out and touch where we can.
    For me, it is crucial to be at peace with one’s soul, to talk to God and to pray always, to give thanks for all that is good as well as all that is bad but that is me. It may not be the same for anybody else.

  2. All the food looks good especially the tandoori chicken. Sad but true about those apple polishing and those getting awards when they hardly do anything while the rest who worked half dead gets nothing. Last month, I can see my son is quite stress about the auditors coming to their pharmacy to audit the drugs in their pharmacy. I can’t do much and can only keep him and his team in prayers for everything to end smoothly. Eventually all ends well and suprisingly the Head of Pharmacy who does nothing but sit comfortably in her air-cond room was given the credits for leading a good team work.

    That reminds me of an ex-student of mine a few years ago – he refused to cooperate with his colleagues who were involved in some up-to-no-good practices and they caused a lot of trouble and stress for him till he attempted suicide. Luckily he did not die. Eventually, I heard he resigned and went to work in Singapore – now very happy there. Case was investigated, even director went…but swept under the carpet. Nothing in the newspapers!

  3. You were a teacher before, and now your girl is a teacher, so a lot of advice you can give her. Yes, nowadays teachers have a lot in their hands. Even busy during school holidays.

    Relaxation time or therapy like massage, spa or shopping therapy sounds like a good way to de-stress.

    Yes, I’d go for a hair wash plus head & back massage…or a full body massage. Unfortunately, she is not into these things at all. Shopping’s not for me but she’ll go with the mum on weekends and during holidays.
    Teachers nowadays are so very well-paid, not like me last time but there is so much pressure, so much work, day and night, every day!!! I think I would rather have less money and an easier and happier life…and a lot more meaning and fun in actually teaching, not doing all the nonsense the ministry forces everyone to do!!! All rubbish!!!

  4. You have given your girl very good advice – to take control of her life and never let anyone dictate her. Working life can be stressful, I do remember my days as a junior staff at a big firm and some of the seniors were not very friendly. I went into depression back then and I quit. I am glad those horrible days are over!

    And the ministry is playing ignorance, asking why so many teachers are depressed, all stressed out, so many are quitting. Are they so stupid or what? They cannot see what is going on right under their noses? I hear it is the same in the hospitals with the doctors and the nurses and elsewhere too.

  5. Every working place will have apple polishers and there are some superiors or bosses who just love to be apple polished. The one who suffers are the ones who are the genuine good workers. Their only reward is the satisfaction from a job well accomplished. Your girl is fortunate to have a father who understands. Food is a good way to de-stress. A very delicious dinner you all had.

    Yes, that is what I keep telling my girl. We do not need all those meaningless rewards that they give to those least deserving. Just work for the satisfaction of having done well, God is all-seeing, all-knowing. Everyone will get their just reward in the end.

  6. Mental health is so important, without it, forget physical health. What we can do as parents is to be supportive always, not to impose your own views or attempt to make them achieve what you could not.
    Have done my fair share of professional school interviews, and I am always impressed with a candidate whose time management schedule of doing ‘nothing’….go for a walk, read a book, cook a meal, phone a friend, etc etc.

    Indeed, everyone needs a little bit of “me” time, some breathing space. These days, there is so much to do, so much unnecessary documentation (and I thought we should be moving towards a paperless society)…and worse still, anytime at all in the middle of the night, something may come up via whatsapp…do this, do that, first thing meeting tomorrow morning!!! Obviously, there are people with no respect for individual privacy at all.

  7. Teaching is a hard profession. It’s almost impossible to turn off. There’s so much involved. We are fortunate in Malaysia that mostly teachers are respected by the local community. It’s not always the case overseas.

    Getting to be like that here too, sad to say.

All opinions expressed in my blog are solely my own, that is my prerogative - you may or may not agree, that is yours. To each his/her own. For food and other reviews, you may email me at sibutuapui@yahoo.com

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