Happiness is me and you…

…and indeed, nothing beats the joy shared at a family event like a wedding.

One of my nieces got married recently and I had blogged about the Malay/Muslim ceremony and also the grand wedding banquet…and another one tied the knot over the weekend and this time, they had the traditional Melanau ceremony at the house the day before the church wedding and everything else.

Despite my Melanau roots on my maternal side of the family, I had never witnessed anything like it before. I remember my mum taking me along to a pengilan (Malay/Melanau wedding) but most of the time, it would just be to eat – or at least, that is about all that I can remember…though I do recall seeing some bersanding ceremonies including the arrival of the groom at the bride’s house, complete with a kompang band and all.

This part of the Melanau wedding ceremony called the surung berian (loosely translated as the presentation of gifts, if I’m not wrong) started off with the arrival of the representatives from the groom’s side at the bride’s house…

…all in their traditional Melanau outfits. This was prepared – the daun sireh (betel leaf) in the traditional “server”, the whole works…

…but I did not see anybody helping himself to that. I’ve been told, however, that it is not really meant for the eating bit so much. Instead, it has a very special significance at such ceremonies. I saw that it was placed right in front of the three representatives from the bride’s family in front of the dais, in the middle and after those from the other side had arrived, the one in the middle moved it to one side to mark the beginning of the discussion/negotiation.

While waiting, we had these lovely kek lapis (layer cake) Sarawak and coconut cake to enjoy…

and soon, the entourage arrived. I did not see the groom with them so I asked and was told that the groom would not be coming. Oh? That was another thing that I did not know. The gifts were presented and there was a lengthy discussion over each of them including a sword/knife that looked like a brass antique one…

…followed by a golden ring in an antique plate…

…and there was a lot of money too, probably the dowry…

I noticed that in line with the traditional practice, only the men were involved – none of the ladies came with the group from the groom’s side, not even the mother-in-law to be. If I’m not mistaken, this special Melanau ceremony is only accorded to royalty, those with Abang or Dayang (the equivalent to the English Lord & Lady) attached to their names. I must say that I found it all very interesting indeed and was glad to be privileged enough to witness one taking place.

Eventually, all was settled and everyone was treated to a very elaborate buffet lunch. There was so much food but I only took photographs of a few of them like this nangka muda masak lemak (young jackfruit cooked in coconut milk)…

…and this lovely acar nenas (pineapple pickle)…

…which came across to me as something like the Indian chutney – I love their mango one!

I did not eat the salted ikan kembong…

…though on ordinary days, I could just eat this alone with rice…and I would go for a second helping, that’s for sure.

The sambal for the ulam…

…was superb but I also had a bit of that only. No, I wasn’t shy or on any kind of strict diet – as a matter of fact, I was pre-occupied with these lovelies…

I had not had them for a long time because those that I would usually see at the market were very small, not to mention expensive as well, and not worth the hassle and the time spent on getting the meat inside out to eat.

The dashing groom did show up later for photographs on the beautifully-decorated pelamin (dais) with his radiant bride…

…and all the members of the family present that morning.

Stay tuned for more!