Last date…

A candlelight dinner with flowing champagne, a crooner serenading an Italian love song whilst strumming an acoustic guitar – it was the perfect setting for my Valentine and me. There I was fidgeting incessantly in my seat as I waited anxiously for her to arrive.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief the moment I saw her walk through the door. She was late but all was forgiven as she flashed her sweetest smile and whispered coyly in my ear, “I’m so sorry.” I promptly handed her the bouquet of carnations I had bought for her.

Roses would have been more appropriate for the occasion, of course but at RM15.00 a bloom, I chose to substitute it with carnations instead. Well, if she was disappointed, she did not display any sign of it at all.

We browsed through the menu which was in a language that was Greek to me, but she appeared quite at home with it and ordered what she wanted in a jiffy. So as not to make an exhibition of my ignorance, I merely pointed at an item in the menu and promptly handed it back to the waiter.

When dinner was served, to my horror, I discovered that I had ordered a lobster! Goodness gracious me! This was going to be expensive! And in the meantime, how was I going to eat it? If I were in the privacy of my own home, I would have used my hands, giving my fingers a good licking once I was through but there was no way I would want to embarrass myself in front of my date. I plunged in with my knife and fork and the wretched crustacean slipped off my plate and fell onto the table. I cast a glance at her; she probably did not notice for she went on eating ever so gracefully as if nothing had happened.

I slipped the creature back onto my plate quietly and just nibbled at the garnishing while waiting for her to finish. When she was done, we ordered coffee and I opted for a cup of cappuccino. As I attempted to sip the beverage, I discovered that it was too hot so I blew on it hoping to cool it down a little. The moment I looked up from the cup, my blood ran cold when I saw my date’s face covered with the frothy white cream complete with its sprinkling of chocolate.

“Weren’t you supposed to stir it first?” she muttered disdainfully and looking extremely cross, she stormed out of the restaurant and out of my life.

Happy Valentine’s Day…