It wasn’t me…

What do you do if you are making a one-night stop at a place and there are so many people to see and say hello to and so many things to eat? Well, for one thing, you can do what Stella did – just let them know when you’re coming and hope that they will arrange something like this.

Everybody gathered at one place and each of them brought something along (not available or not easily available Down Under). Gundot brought some dabai (You can see the photo in this earlier post!) and umai, a Melanau dish of raw fish with lots of onions and chillies, marinated with lime/kalamansi juice…

Do I see asam paya in it as well, Gundot? (Those brownish pieces?) And I know who brought this – steamed pork cake…with lots of fried onions…

Ooo…nice plate! Got class!!! Anyway, there were also those nyonya delicacies like nyonya bak chang (with minced meat and the fragrance of ketumbar – different from the Chinese meat dumplings)…

Ummm…if I go, don’t bother to cut it! I’m not so say-jee (shy), so eyew siew (delicate) and I would take it whole…but you can provide a knife for those who nibble like mice. They can cut it themselves! LOL!!! But you can cut the serimuka…

…even though I can finish the whole piece but I’m sure the others would like to have some of it too! Me so considerate lah! LOL!!! Actually I find that Kuching has the best nyonya kuihs; Malacca and Penang come nowhere near! Very rich, very lemak (generous with the santan or coconut milk), very very nice! I think this one’s homemade, specially ordered and I bet it’s even nicer that those available at the stalls e.g. along Green Road. By the way, Puan Sri, nice table cloth! I love the English roses! LOL!!!

Then there were the kuih cangkih (something like the green part of serimuka, moulded in little tea cups)…

Can’t make out what those white balls are! The kuih melaka or what you call them, those round kuihs with gula melaka inside and when you bite into one, watch out for the brown sugar that squirts out! They certainly do not look like the very nice homemade tapioca kuih coated with grated coconut that Sophia bought for me once together with the kuih bingka bandung (tapioca)…

…and I’m sure everyone’s familiar with the ang koo (red turtle) kuih. The best in Kuching would be from this place along some backstreet in Padungan. Dunno if it’s still there. Now, these kuih lenggang certainly do not look like they were commercially produced…

The lighter green colour of the pancake-like skin shows that it contained more santan and would therefore, be more lemak…and the size would be an indication of the generous helpings of grated coconut wrapped inside. Did Jovita make those? She used to make very nice ones!…Now, let’s see what else they had…

Ah! Jiew hu eng chai or sotong kangkong, that is cuttlefish with veg. Are these from Open Air Market? Love the plates too! I can see they’re not the NCAA (no class at all) melamine stuff. Hey! They put that in the milk in China and all the kids are falling sick. Are you sure it is all right to use those melamine plates? Oops! Sorry, I digressed!!!…And are these ham chim beng (local cinnamon rolls)…or are they Gerrie’s cinnamon rolls that were once the talk of the town? LOL!!!

These look like homemade char siew rolls…

…and these must be the homemade durian puffs that Gerrie brought. She seemed so proud of them, so they must be very nice!!!

And believe you me, those were NOT all! There were some more…but what I have posted would be more than enough to make everyone shake their heads in amazement…or perhaps, in shock at the gross indulgence! (Note the hint of envy!) No…no…no!!! I was not part of it! I swear!!!! LOL!!!…It was Stella and the rest of the clan. If you thought you saw someone like me, it must be KNB or his surrogate twin! It looked like me…it ate like me…but it wasn’t me! ROTFLMAO!!!

Stuck on you…

I received this via email from a friend and I thought it was really hilarious, so I would like to share it with you. The newspaper report on the case went like this:

Last night, in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble. Xing, a 41-year-old man, was calling from Lian Tian Park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park. The bench had numerous holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself.

However, once he became aroused, he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him. When the police arrived, they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When the doctors arrived at the scene, they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, the doctors finally separated Xian from the bench. The doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to cut his penis.

…..ROTFLMAO!

(Original source of report and images unknown)